tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-64829485874590899302024-03-19T14:32:52.071-07:00smoke and dreamUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6482948587459089930.post-7795873141920458022009-10-30T16:42:00.000-07:002009-10-30T16:53:59.793-07:00Hairy Gary<a href="http://www.brandinfection.com/wp-content/branded_nails2.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 155px;" src="http://www.brandinfection.com/wp-content/branded_nails2.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />so my ex just got remarried. i guss she's cute and all I mean if you like a woman who has eyes to close together and has deodorant stains all over her clothes. <br />the one thing that pisses me off more than anything about her and him is that she calls him "Hairy Gary" and he HATES to be called "Hairy Gary" anyway if she and I were alone in a room lets just say I wouldn't mind losing a few of my press ons scratching the hell out of her face.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6482948587459089930.post-57746740800151013102009-10-02T04:56:00.000-07:002009-10-02T05:16:23.590-07:00Party TimeSo I gave Misty my slaggy 7 year old a birthday party. A couple of the mom's were VERY uhhhhhhhhgly to me afterwards and one even threatened to call the po po on my ass. I mean hell there the ones who dropped their kids off knowing where we were going. The invitation said <br /><br />"We're going to the Glitter Factory for Misty's party. Fruit "Leather" and yummy chocolate to taste test will be available. All party favors will come home wrapped in discreet brown paper" <br /><br />Tracy my friend who hosted the party kept things very tasteful so I don't what the hell their problem was.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6482948587459089930.post-46973778325421921112009-08-05T07:50:00.000-07:002009-08-05T07:53:21.981-07:00gettin healthyso last night at the truck stop I told the kids they could each get a five finger discount on a drink and Travis my fat ass chumba wumba showed me that he had this 32 oz MONSTER ENERGY drink in his shirt sleeve and I was like "you are so damn unhealthy GO GET YOURSELF A SODA damnit" <br /><br />kids these daysUnknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6482948587459089930.post-87364897080477236592009-07-22T19:59:00.000-07:002009-07-22T20:14:12.055-07:00heart of gold tokensi sure do love that billy ray. he has been saving up these gold tokens that the flying J gives so that truckers can have showers. well it cost $1 for 4 tokens and that gives you a 2 min shower for 2 tokens each time. well you also can trade in tokens for all sorts of stuff like potoe logs and lap dances. so billy ray has been only takin 2 min showers for the last couple of weeks and saving his remainden tokens up for a present for me. it was such a suprize<br /><br />he said <br />kim you are my idian angel from above<br /><br />and then he gave me this <br /><br /><a href="http://www.crafts-gifts.com/indian-dolls/angels/indian-dolls.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 164px; height: 275px;" src="http://www.crafts-gifts.com/indian-dolls/angels/indian-dolls.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br />and i mite have teared up a littleUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6482948587459089930.post-9789492870076287762009-07-19T22:24:00.001-07:002009-07-19T22:37:47.023-07:00Registeredi called gary my sorry asscuse of an ex who is baby girls daddy. well at least as far as i know he is. but it could have been his nephiew. <br /><br />so I was like<br /><br />gary whats your new celly number? <br /><br />and he was like<br /><br />307-777-8781<br /><br />and i was like Kewl<br /><br />so then a couple of days later I got real DRUNK and drunk dialed gary so I could tell him some feelings I still had about him and how I was sorry that I ran over his bart simpson lawn ornment 2 weeks ago. <br /><br />so it rang<br />and then this femal robot voice came on and it was like<br /><br />"HELLO"<br /><br />and I was like "wazzz up"<br /><br />and then it said <br /><br />"STATE YOUR NAME"<br /><br />and so I sed<br /><br />"Kimberlie Bald Eagle Lewis"<br /><br />and it was like<br /><br />"PLEASE ENTER YOUR 10 DIGIT TELEPHONE NUMBER FOLLOWED BY THE # SIGN"<br /><br />so i did<br /><br />then it sed<br /><br />"PLEASE ENTER YOUR ZIP CODE FOLLOWED BY THE # SIGN"<br /><br />and so i did<br /><br />and then it said <br /><br />"THANK YOU. YOU ARE NOW REGISTERED AS A SEX OFFENDER IN THE STATE OF WYOMING. HAVE A GREAT DAY"<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />gary is such a basturd.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6482948587459089930.post-88181754879971732082009-07-05T18:24:00.000-07:002009-07-05T18:35:19.103-07:00puttin her in her placemy mom called today and said "i think billy ray is a bad dude" and i was like "thank you" and she was like "I didn't mean that as a compliment" and I was like "mom you can just go to hell cuz I <strong>know</strong> he's not. i mean where do you think he's at right now?" and she was like "probably some smoke shop" and I was like "well that answer just proved your so ignert cuz guess what..... right now he's performing community service. so there" <br />that got her good.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6482948587459089930.post-15523124556232773152009-07-04T12:52:00.000-07:002009-07-04T13:15:29.760-07:00how i got my name32 years ago my mom was riding on the back of a guy's harley having a helluva good time celebratin America's birthday then her water broke well sure enough the dude got so pissed that "baby marinade" got all over his hog he up and left her on the side of the road. <br /><br />then a bald eagle sored over her head and I crowned and then the bald eagle tried to swoop down and get me because I was so beautiful and small and I'm pretty sure that it wanted to take me to back to its nest and raze me. but that didn't happen but my mom took it as a sign that I would be special so thats why she named me what she did so it would be all symbolic and shit. so thats why my name is Kimberlie Bald Eagle Lewis. <br /><br />it was a good day for my mom since i'm her pride & joy. well except for it being the last time she saw my dad. that kind of sucked balls i bet.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6482948587459089930.post-31540287198225507522009-07-01T02:03:00.000-07:002009-07-01T02:25:03.798-07:00county fairbilly ray finally remebered that tim magraw song. he said it has somethin to do about the county fair??????? but thats all he knew. i've been listin to the radio all day to see if it would come on & even put out a couple requests to truckers on my cb to see if they knew what the hell billy ray is talking about. i guess someone must have pissed in all of their wheaties cuz know one would respond to me!<br /><br />anyways i took the liburties to get us some "county fair" fantasizing outfits. <br /><br /><a href="http://images.buycostumes.com/mgen/merchandiser/32382.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 400px;" src="http://images.buycostumes.com/mgen/merchandiser/32382.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.wonderlandparty.co.uk/acatalog/R15225xl.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 257px; height: 500px;" src="http://www.wonderlandparty.co.uk/acatalog/R15225xl.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6482948587459089930.post-65001163206618921442009-06-27T18:15:00.000-07:002009-06-27T19:01:05.411-07:00last nite turned out exactly as I hoped it could. here's some pictures <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.bartinprogress.com/images/09/march/hamburger_helper_and_stirfry.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 500px; height: 375px;" src="http://www.bartinprogress.com/images/09/march/hamburger_helper_and_stirfry.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><br />i made up some of my homemade hamburger helper<br />and as a side dish some leftover chines food from last week<br />he gobbled it up <br /><br /><br />i gave this to billy ray as a anerversary gift<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/174/464518222_b596acdaa7.jpg?v=0"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 500px; height: 375px;" src="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/174/464518222_b596acdaa7.jpg?v=0" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br />i've been saving those up for 3 years now. i told billy ray that there was probaly enough marlboro miles to get himself a kayak.<br />then bill ray gave me a present too ;) ;) i'm not shittin you he really did. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5TDyeKQW8W-ITUWsiq9Mip_gU0GHoAzpC5xmX-4w-0jgPXntIpdCWYZ_OIe_G2dDnsI8-CLJGTa4cr4sBQZZ3cpAxLRs4nMDW1wiV297kGLKXH4nvg1se46dX8F8qZTqrTNFbEcYymhE/s1600-h/puss.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 287px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5TDyeKQW8W-ITUWsiq9Mip_gU0GHoAzpC5xmX-4w-0jgPXntIpdCWYZ_OIe_G2dDnsI8-CLJGTa4cr4sBQZZ3cpAxLRs4nMDW1wiV297kGLKXH4nvg1se46dX8F8qZTqrTNFbEcYymhE/s400/puss.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5352191249335725778" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br />billy ray with "puss n bootz"</span> <br /><br />he said he'd get me a frame the next time he breaks into Trish's place (aka skankyass ex)to steal stuff. i sed that would do just fine. until then I'll just tack it up on my ceiling above my bed.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6482948587459089930.post-72173277763508019372009-06-26T06:08:00.000-07:002009-06-26T06:46:35.789-07:00happy anaverserytonite i'm going to make billy ray a special dinner to commerate our anniversary. its been 6 days (and 5 beautiful &mystical nights) that we've been 2gether. last night was probaly the best so far we did it like 8 times and i was able to ask billy ray to play out my favorright fantasy and pretend to be my parole officer. lets just say he's got a very genteel touch with that anklet bracelet. <br /><br />so then I asked billy ray what his fantasy was and he was like "you know that tim mcgraw song"<br />and I was like "no"<br />and he was like "damnit"<br />and i was like "sing it to me baby" cuz billy ray has got the voice of an angle. and was he like "i forgot" <br /><br />hopefully tonite he'll remembier. cause i love fantasizing. <br /><br />also should i git him a gift or somethin?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6482948587459089930.post-19217863459914509642009-06-24T06:48:00.000-07:002009-06-24T08:14:11.030-07:00what happend on the rezwell some people know I died a couple months back. i was on the rez playing bingo with my favoright indian Black Jack. well one minute I'm stamping hot pink dots all over my bingo cards and the next minute I looked over at Black Jack and thought it would be real cute to stamp a dot right there on his weenie. I mean hell he was looking so SeXXXy in his camel tshirt and breech cloth. <br /><br />so I said "how bout I put a little war paint on ya" real sexy like and then stamped it. by it I mean his weenie of corse<br /><br />then all the sudden I was in this choke hold and I couldn't breath and I died<br /><br />well i might not have died so much as maybe just passed out cause then the next thing I know i was inside this teepee and a dream catcher was floating over me. <br />it was a very spiritual moment. <br /><br />then Black Jack took me to the elders to get a tat to memorilize what had happened. I had them add a indian feather to my elmo tramp stamp. just hopin one day that I'll be spiritual enough to give elmo a full war bonnet.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5mO1V96HY_EMYw4Nt2Jue_WlxfgmbBBgTM0W4xJBAKr51VTSuEKDP6x5nA3O33hDKIbVKN4CvuAx9jNLL4gOFYBshaZk5olCPhXPzM_1jI6J_Ex421sviOdHoU_2uDVLTh_Ja7R9U8ak/s1600-h/ElmoTatoo.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 211px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5mO1V96HY_EMYw4Nt2Jue_WlxfgmbBBgTM0W4xJBAKr51VTSuEKDP6x5nA3O33hDKIbVKN4CvuAx9jNLL4gOFYBshaZk5olCPhXPzM_1jI6J_Ex421sviOdHoU_2uDVLTh_Ja7R9U8ak/s320/ElmoTatoo.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5350912581002933522" /></a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6482948587459089930.post-53995680812414963962009-06-22T12:37:00.000-07:002009-06-22T12:52:49.555-07:00gone huntinlast night billy ray took me huntin. well actually he just took me out to his truck after he had gotten back from huntin. He said "kim come here I want to show you sumpin" and then we stared at this dead buck laying in the back of his pickup for like 5 minutes. then one thing led to another and we decided to <strong>GET IT ON </strong>in the back of his cab. well then all of the sudden I heard billy ray fumbling around with the window above my head and trying to slide it open. and I said "what the hell are you trying to do" and he was like <br />"i've always wanted to touch two racks at the same time" <br /><br /><a href="http://forums.bowsite.com/TF/pics/00small24576863.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 468px; height: 352px;" src="http://forums.bowsite.com/TF/pics/00small24576863.JPG" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br />billy ray is somethin special I'll tell ya that right nowUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6482948587459089930.post-34635827203193986632009-06-21T20:25:00.000-07:002009-06-21T20:48:36.573-07:00Billy Ray<a href="https://www.auntsharonsattic.com/store//catalog/images/39350.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 420px; height: 420px;" src="https://www.auntsharonsattic.com/store//catalog/images/39350.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />i met a new man. his name is Billy ray. we did it 4 times last night. and then he carved a wolf figurine for me with some nail clippers.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6482948587459089930.post-86181696975000358452008-06-30T19:56:00.000-07:002009-06-21T20:13:01.478-07:00waaaz upjust got this puter. It was either a puter or $50 in cash for babysitting these two rottweilers my neighbor had for a month while he was in jail. <br /><br /><br /><br /><br />my name is Kim. I am 34 and I have 4 kids<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Travis (my fat ass 11 year old) or you can call him Douche Bag<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />he answers to both<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Misty (my 7 year old) she's really dumb... I think she has fetal alcihol syndrome <br /><br /><br />well thats what I tell people to get them off my case<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Tyson (my 4 year old) <br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Baby Girl ( her real name is Crystal Diamond but that doesn't really fit her since she's really ugly) <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />thats it<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvd7mz8mR3OZdKLa53vTkM7ZvBRrT2z53joSKvDqUwpB5kfVR4Twa5BOmvxOyqvcbKNdWfq_MkQIWGfr_34xydmj4iNO86i_dovhG-E_LTlR-T9mM-2YK7n_5nq3nhlF_NLPqX4eZhjRI/s1600-h/317123350_l.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 160px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvd7mz8mR3OZdKLa53vTkM7ZvBRrT2z53joSKvDqUwpB5kfVR4Twa5BOmvxOyqvcbKNdWfq_MkQIWGfr_34xydmj4iNO86i_dovhG-E_LTlR-T9mM-2YK7n_5nq3nhlF_NLPqX4eZhjRI/s320/317123350_l.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5349984511447193362" /></a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6482948587459089930.post-23844149793246535532008-06-29T20:13:00.000-07:002009-06-21T20:18:18.340-07:00gary and kim = true love----------------- Original Message -----------------<br />From: gary<br />Date: Dec 5, 2005 1:07 PM<br /><br />If you look real close you can tell that you got fake boobies. And believe me...I look REAL close...all day long.<br /><br />Serious, if you ever want to go out country dancin, smoke a few packs, then get naked...let me know.<br />----------------- Original Message -----------------<br />From: Kim<br />Date: Dec 5, 2005 1:31 PM<br /><br />Yeah lets plan a date or somethin. My ex is takin the kids this weekend. drive your rig down and come pick me up. Does your truck have a bed in the back?<br /><br />----------------- Original Message -----------------<br />From: gary<br />Date: Dec 6, 2005 6:23 AM<br />Yeah its got a bed...but it has lots of stains on it.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6482948587459089930.post-4645773459548765542008-05-01T20:16:00.000-07:002009-06-26T12:21:50.836-07:00Xhey ya'll i'm back. <br /><br />today was one scary shitload of a day. I found travis my 11 yr old fatty lookin dead in his bed. I mean he looked like how a dead animal looks on the side of the hwy. but he wasn't dead. he was just passed out or something. too bad.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6482948587459089930.post-2157844855203911572006-04-11T20:17:00.000-07:002009-06-21T20:17:38.197-07:00dumpster divinSo this weekend I took Misty(my 7yr old) and Travis (my fat ass 11yr old) dumpster diving cause Tyson's turning 4 this week and I didn't want to spend my money on some toys when I know we could get some nice stuff for free. Well Misty was acting like a baby cause she was scared that a garbage truck was going to come get the garbage while she was still inside... she's so dumb. And I was like "Hell Misty its 2am no truck is going to come get ya" and she kept whining so I told her for acting all spunky on me she was going to have to go to the time out shed for like a day when we got home. <br /><br />So I think we made a pretty good haul... here's some of the stuff we found:<br /><br />box springs for a twin<br /><br />a box full of readers digests from 1970- 1992<br /><br />some Van Damme movies that were still shrink wrapped and were marked $1 ( thats a pity cause Hell even I know they're worth more then that like at least $5 each)<br /><br />some old tatoo needles that Travis thought he could use with some ink from a pen<br /><br />and a Treadmill... I think maybe I can get Ronnie to work on it and get the motor started and maybe trade it for some beer or some cigerettes or somthing.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6482948587459089930.post-48089438225606966692006-03-09T20:18:00.000-08:002009-06-21T20:19:18.431-07:00ignertNow that I'm starting to show people have been so pissy to me lately. <br /><br />Like I'll be out on a cigerette break drinking a beer with a trucker and this city lady who was filling her "Lexus" up with gas walked past me and stared at me and told me I should have more self respect for my baby. <br /><br />And I was like "Listen Bitch I can do whatever I want... I already have 3 kids and they've turned out just fine" and she was like "I bet they were born all underweight and were premature" and I was like "Uh no smartass they weren't and my one son who is 11 weighs 200lbs so there." That got her good. <br /><br />Then she was like "well at least put on a shirt... you look ridiculous wearing that bikini top with your belly hanging out" and so I said "You're just ignert" and I threw my empty beer can at her. <br /><br />Then Bert and I started laughing real hard and then Bert farted.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6482948587459089930.post-78475339228155793932006-01-21T20:20:00.000-08:002009-06-21T20:20:44.082-07:00drunk barf breathwell matter of fact we did have a real shitty christmas. They only got about 2 presents each and they weren't even what they asked for. Like Travis asked for an Xbox 360 with 5 games and somebody just got him a REGULAER Xbox with 2 games. I mean damnit! he already has an Xbox and a PS2 from last years christmas. Why do you think I asked for an Xbox 360. Ignert Retards.<br /><br />So he cried and wet his sweats all day. He wanted to change out of his sweats real bad but I said Helll no cause I wasn't going down to the laundromat until next week. He's so fat I can't stand him. I always stay stuff like "You're a fat and ugly whore." "You breath smells like a drunk barfed on you and you ate it." He tries real hard to keep it together and thats no fun. So I'll add "Your real father wishes you were dead cause you're so fat and ugly" <br /><br />Then Misty and Tyson my other kids will run up to him and hit him with a board or a jump rope sometimes. Then we all just sit on the couch, laughing while he cry's and blubbers. We got him crying so hard the other day that he pooped his pants. So I made him go get this cattle prod that a truck driver left at my house one night and I shocked him a couple of times. But I made a mistake and made him bend over and shocked him on his ass but I forgot that he had a huge turd sitting in his underpants so it didn't really even do anything to him except it cooked the turd and it smelled like a hundred year old turd covered in burnt hair. <br /><br />It was sickUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6482948587459089930.post-19208574825364971312005-12-03T20:21:00.000-08:002009-06-21T20:21:49.226-07:00waffle housegrandma shirley and I went to Waffle House for breakfast this morning and she embarresed the hell out of me. We were crossing the street and her motorized scooter went out. Well I kept walkin cause there was no way I was going to be seen pushing a fat old lady in a Jazzy scooter. So she started yellin "Kimmmm" "Help meee!" I shot her a dirty look and hauled ass into waffle house. about 10 min later she finally came in, I guess the scooter just had a short... she came over and started telling me how disrespectful I was... I told her to shut up and just be grateful or I'd stop changin her diapers. That did the trick.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6482948587459089930.post-57343407505844960382005-11-26T20:22:00.000-08:002009-06-21T20:22:34.213-07:00walmartYesterday my sister Tammy and I went to walmart and she got stomped on pretty bad. We were the first ones in the door and since she weighs about 300 tons she couldn't move fast enough, all the people behind her shoved her to the ground. I turned around and watched for a little bit. It was kinda fun see her lay there screamin and all. Then a guy fell on top of her and I think her braid got stuck in his belt buckle because when he got off and started running with the pack she let out a big holla and I could see long strands of hair hangin off his belt. After a few seconds I realized there was nothing I could do to help her and just ran off to go get a coffee maker that was only $8.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6482948587459089930.post-70265166113767951772005-11-23T20:22:00.000-08:002009-06-21T20:23:13.280-07:00turkey daywell I'm off to Piggly Wiggly to get my groceries for turkey day.<br /><br /><br />egg nog<br />block of cheese<br />crinkle chips<br />french onion dip<br />little smokies<br />carton of smokes<br />turkey<br />yams <br />marshmellows<br />kool aid<br />Bud<br />twinkies<br />frozen pumpkin pie<br />whip toppin in a can<br />big league bubblegum chew<br />wine in a box<br />national enquirer<br /><br />well that should do it.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0