heart of gold tokens

i sure do love that billy ray. he has been saving up these gold tokens that the flying J gives so that truckers can have showers. well it cost $1 for 4 tokens and that gives you a 2 min shower for 2 tokens each time. well you also can trade in tokens for all sorts of stuff like potoe logs and lap dances. so billy ray has been only takin 2 min showers for the last couple of weeks and saving his remainden tokens up for a present for me. it was such a suprize

he said
kim you are my idian angel from above

and then he gave me this



and i mite have teared up a little

Registered

i called gary my sorry asscuse of an ex who is baby girls daddy. well at least as far as i know he is. but it could have been his nephiew.

so I was like

gary whats your new celly number?

and he was like

307-777-8781

and i was like Kewl

so then a couple of days later I got real DRUNK and drunk dialed gary so I could tell him some feelings I still had about him and how I was sorry that I ran over his bart simpson lawn ornment 2 weeks ago.

so it rang
and then this femal robot voice came on and it was like

"HELLO"

and I was like "wazzz up"

and then it said

"STATE YOUR NAME"

and so I sed

"Kimberlie Bald Eagle Lewis"

and it was like

"PLEASE ENTER YOUR 10 DIGIT TELEPHONE NUMBER FOLLOWED BY THE # SIGN"

so i did

then it sed

"PLEASE ENTER YOUR ZIP CODE FOLLOWED BY THE # SIGN"

and so i did

and then it said

"THANK YOU. YOU ARE NOW REGISTERED AS A SEX OFFENDER IN THE STATE OF WYOMING. HAVE A GREAT DAY"




gary is such a basturd.

puttin her in her place

my mom called today and said "i think billy ray is a bad dude" and i was like "thank you" and she was like "I didn't mean that as a compliment" and I was like "mom you can just go to hell cuz I know he's not. i mean where do you think he's at right now?" and she was like "probably some smoke shop" and I was like "well that answer just proved your so ignert cuz guess what..... right now he's performing community service. so there"
that got her good.

how i got my name

32 years ago my mom was riding on the back of a guy's harley having a helluva good time celebratin America's birthday then her water broke well sure enough the dude got so pissed that "baby marinade" got all over his hog he up and left her on the side of the road.

then a bald eagle sored over her head and I crowned and then the bald eagle tried to swoop down and get me because I was so beautiful and small and I'm pretty sure that it wanted to take me to back to its nest and raze me. but that didn't happen but my mom took it as a sign that I would be special so thats why she named me what she did so it would be all symbolic and shit. so thats why my name is Kimberlie Bald Eagle Lewis.

it was a good day for my mom since i'm her pride & joy. well except for it being the last time she saw my dad. that kind of sucked balls i bet.

county fair

billy ray finally remebered that tim magraw song. he said it has somethin to do about the county fair??????? but thats all he knew. i've been listin to the radio all day to see if it would come on & even put out a couple requests to truckers on my cb to see if they knew what the hell billy ray is talking about. i guess someone must have pissed in all of their wheaties cuz know one would respond to me!

anyways i took the liburties to get us some "county fair" fantasizing outfits.